Hey Everyone! 2010 is almost over and good riddance! It has been a very rough year for me in the romance and relationship category, but it has not been all bad either. The best events of the year for me were
1. A trip to Vancouver, BC in January where I met a woman face to face that I was dating LD and had met through Match.com. We spent 4 dys together and overall it was very romantic, fun, sexy and like a dream. Too bad I had to wake up from it.
2. Losing 30 lbs due to A LOT of hard work and exercise. Although it was originally motivated by the woman from Burnaby (see above) she was done with me before Valentine's Day, but I kept on going and dropped weight from 230 lbs to 200 lbs over several months.
3. My daughter's performance in school improved tremendously after A LOT of hard work with Kumon and Language therapy. It's still a struggle to keep her on grade level, but we are gaining momentum.
4. My son has performed well above grade level in school academically and socially. He's been voted Class Cutie by all the girls and all the boys like him because he's funny. He's not even close to peaking yet, but I am elated at how well he has done.
Rather than dwell on the Worst of 2010--I've gone on ad nauseum in this blog on this after all. I want to end the year on positive note and set the stage for a MUCH BETTER 2011. With that, here are my Best of 2010 Awards in several categories that I have chosen myself, for what it is worth:
Best New Burgers I've Eaten in 2010
For those who've seen my YouTube Reviews, I've been searching out the Best Burger in Houston. I've tried A LOT of great Burgers. I can't pick just one but here are my big 3:
The Sonoma Burger at The Burger Guys (http://theburgerguys.com/):
Applewood-smoked bacon, cheddar, avocado, Arugula, aioli. I get mine Shepherdized (with a fried egg on top)
The Napa Valley Burger at The Burger Palace (http://www.burgerpalacehouston.com/)
White cheddar, applewood smoked bacon, avocado, napa slaw and house made aoili
The Surf-n-Turf Burger at The YardHouse (http://www.yardhouse.com/)
swiss cheese, grilled asparagus, maine lobster sautéed in garlic butter, tomato béarnaise
Best Movies of 2010
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
http://www.scottpilgrimthemovie.com/
Inception
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1375666/
The Warrior's Way
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1032751/
Tron: Legacy
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1104001/
Best New TV Shows of 2010
$#!+ My Dad Says
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/my_dad_says/
Nikita
http://www.cwtv.com/shows/nikita
Hiccups
http://www.hiccups.tv/
Dan For Mayor
http://www.danformayor.ca/
Best New Word of 2010
VAGENDA--A fusion of "vagina" (the female sexual body part) and "agenda" (a schedule or strategy); First used on Fringe (http://www.fox.com/fringe/) by actor John Noble, playing semi-Mad Scientist Dr. Walter Bishop!
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=vagenda
"That temptress! She tricked my son with her.... carnal manipulations and he fell right into her VAGENDA!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZT-ZDZl-sPg''
Example: I would love a beautiful, attractive, Asian, Latin or Caucasian woman in Houston or Vancouver to put me on her VAGENDA, or in it as the case may be!
Best Sporting Events of 2010
Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics
Vancouver Canucks blanking the Chicago Blackhawks at the United Arena Friday, Dec 3, 2010.
Best New Tweeps of 2010
Please note, there are actually WAYYYY t0o many to fully list. These are the new tweeps I've made on Twitter from 2010. If you followed me in 2009, you're not on this list but you're still AWESOME! Here are the ones from 2010 that stand out:
http://twitter.com/#!/Emalyth
http://twitter.com/#!/DianneChow
http://twitter.com/#!/LilyJang
http://twitter.com/#!/ShawnAcosta
http://twitter.com/#!/naddycat
http://twitter.com/#!/FrancesHui
http://twitter.com/#!/dezchen
http://twitter.com/#!/HauteonMyHeels
http://twitter.com/#!/_kmk_
http://twitter.com/#!/xboxbride
http://twitter.com/#!/happymmm
http://twitter.com/#!/mellifluous_
http://twitter.com/#!/KoKoNutso
http://twitter.com/#!/_TeeLee_
http://twitter.com/#!/tee_ello
Best TV Series Departing the Airwaves in 2010
Smallville, bar none. Lost would have won were it not for the ending that broke a bunch of promises JJ Abrams made.
Best Songs of 2010
Title/Artist
"Saviour"/Lights
"Need you now"/Lady Antebellum
"F**k you!"/Cee Lo Green
"Alejandro"/Lady GaGa
"Hey, Soul Sister"/Train
"Ridin' Solo"/Jason De Rulo
"Breakeven"/The Script
"Uprising"/Muse
"I Gotta Feeling"/Blackeyed Peas
"Haven't Met You Yet"/Michael Bublé
End Notes:
I may add some more categories later as the day wears on, but this works pretty well for now!
Happy New Year Everyone! And that is REAL and THE TRUTH!!!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
While the Students take a Final the Professor Will Blog
Taking a few minutes to further flesh out the dialogue/monologue I've been having about dating issues this year. During the past couple of months, I'm just more frustrated than I was before because it seems that since the summertime, I'm having a hard time just getting a date. I'm able to meet women, I'm able get phone numbers, but getting a date beyond EMails, chatting and phone calls is hard. I know that some of it is due to the Holiday season--people are busy with all the minutiae of what that entails and that leads to frustration. I've pretty much decided to table asking any woman out on a date until after MLK day in the US just to allow Holidays to end and to get the pressure off my back. I'm also not going out for Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve or any other such Holiday activities other than with Family to save myself the pressure to feel coupled.
The woman from the gym texted me Sunday she'd like to go have coffee with me after the holidays, so maybe there may still be some kind of a chance there. At this point, I'll see what happens, but pretty much I expect nothing to come from this. I don't like being strung along by a woman, so I'll take her at her word--and we'll go dutch to make sure that there's no issues or hard feelings over it.
As for other things that have come up, I want to let y'all know that I have been doing some soul searching as to some of my methods and approaches. I'm not just blaming society or women today, though some of it is probably coming from the attitude of some women. As I said below in my reply to another comment, I know that when I am on Twitter, I lay it on a little thick--but I'm not making sexual innuendos at Tweeps who don't already know me somewhat (and with them, it's an inside joke as we're not involved but just being silly).
Telling a woman that (based upon her profile picture) she is beautiful is not the same thing as saying "Hey Baby! You're hot and have a nice rack and ass! Wanna f**k?" Now that would be just plain rude! I would hope that any of my Women Tweeps that I have said this to did not find my saying sounwelcome. And if they did, they would tell me so privately via Email or DM so I could make it up to them. But in the online realm of Social Media, it's hard to get through to some people. One person's compliment is another's inappropriate advance--but this is not an office or a school in the Social Media Realm, so the rules are not always clear. In real life, a man can approach a woman he doesn't know and say she's beautiful, and she can respond accordingly, and he can read her response via facial gestures and other stuff. Usually it's not the first thing he says to her though, I realize that as well.
Maybe my approach on Twitter should be more like in real life. Say hello. Make a remark about something they said that's interesting or that we have in common. Ask about something they mentioned. Then say that they're beautiful based upon their profile pic. Meh... we'll see...
The woman from the gym texted me Sunday she'd like to go have coffee with me after the holidays, so maybe there may still be some kind of a chance there. At this point, I'll see what happens, but pretty much I expect nothing to come from this. I don't like being strung along by a woman, so I'll take her at her word--and we'll go dutch to make sure that there's no issues or hard feelings over it.
As for other things that have come up, I want to let y'all know that I have been doing some soul searching as to some of my methods and approaches. I'm not just blaming society or women today, though some of it is probably coming from the attitude of some women. As I said below in my reply to another comment, I know that when I am on Twitter, I lay it on a little thick--but I'm not making sexual innuendos at Tweeps who don't already know me somewhat (and with them, it's an inside joke as we're not involved but just being silly).
Telling a woman that (based upon her profile picture) she is beautiful is not the same thing as saying "Hey Baby! You're hot and have a nice rack and ass! Wanna f**k?" Now that would be just plain rude! I would hope that any of my Women Tweeps that I have said this to did not find my saying sounwelcome. And if they did, they would tell me so privately via Email or DM so I could make it up to them. But in the online realm of Social Media, it's hard to get through to some people. One person's compliment is another's inappropriate advance--but this is not an office or a school in the Social Media Realm, so the rules are not always clear. In real life, a man can approach a woman he doesn't know and say she's beautiful, and she can respond accordingly, and he can read her response via facial gestures and other stuff. Usually it's not the first thing he says to her though, I realize that as well.
Maybe my approach on Twitter should be more like in real life. Say hello. Make a remark about something they said that's interesting or that we have in common. Ask about something they mentioned. Then say that they're beautiful based upon their profile pic. Meh... we'll see...
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Finals Week--As Stressful for Professors as it is for Students
Well, the Eagle and the LoneStar College are in Final Exams mode now. I am wading through three stacks of Term Papers and Homeworks and gearing up for a new class to start at the FireBird U this Thursday. On top of that, Winter Mini-term at the Eagle College begins on the 20th and I'm teaching one day class there. I'm done with the first class' HW and Term Papers, now moving on to the 2nd as I am writing this blog. But I want to let any of my Tweeps that are Uni Students know this: the act of grading one class's worth of papers takes as much time and is as stressful to the faculty as it is for you to write one and turn it it. And no, we won't make it easier on you by just not assigning them or not grading them thoroughly as we would lose our jobs and they'd hire someone else who would.
Managing Disappointment
I got word on Tuesday that I was not selected for the FT position at the Eagle College Central. I can only guess that I was equal to the other finalist but he or she either had a PhD or was the one they were going to hire anyway and I was just passed through to make sure that all qualified applicants were considered and interviewed. My boss at the Eagle Collge SW told me that one of the FT faculty may retire in Jan due to health issues, so that might mean I'll get hired on FT month to month and he'd let me know ASAP. If I were to get into that position month to month, it'd be a much stronger case for the department to award it to me full time and make me the inside favourite rather than the outsider. Meh! I've got 5 classes between 3 schools for the Spring semester so I will just be grateful for that in the meantime.
Managing Disappointment 2
One of the women I was talking too online did not reply to my last Email, so I am presuming that she's backing off due to not wanting to lead me on, though I made it clear I was happy with friendship and didn't want to date her. Another woman I'd met (the one at the gym) has said she wants to be friends due to going through an ugly divorce and an ugly post divorce dating relationship, so she's skittish on that. However, she also mentioned she had several single/divorced friends I might like and wants to arrange a meet up with a couple of them. We'll see... I really like the woman from the gym though... And another woman I found both infuriating, attractive and exciting turned out to be a Lesbian. UGH!!! That's three strikeouts in a row. WTF?!?!?!?
[Note: I'm removing the rant as that was written when I was really angry about stuff that happened this past week beyond the issues with those women. While I realize that I flirt and lay it on a bit thick via Twitter, in real life I'm not as agressive. I show interest, but I don't lay it on too thick face to face. I guess my online personality is more bold and agressive.]
To my Tweeps, I am sorry that I was so rude in the last paragraph but I feel like the Female of the Species is taking a dump on me as of late and I'm really angry at the world over that, not getting the full time job that I know I deserved and am dealing with the usual seasonal sadness that hits a lot of us in Wintertime. I am not mad at those women that are in relationships who rejected me for that reason--I wish you all well and most of you are in great relationships with great men. I don't try to steal another man's girlfriend or wife and I don't try to date women in committed relationships.
For those women that are Lesbians, there is no hate here for your sexual orientation that is wired inside of you and just take it as a compliment that I found you attractive.
For those that don't want a Long-Distance Relationship, I can certainly understand WHY it's less than appealing--travel costs, not being able to go to eachothers' place and spend the night, not being able to go to dinner every week, et. al. And although cheap long distance phone calls and free internet video chat have made maintaining this A LOT easier than it was before when we just had snail mail and expensive long distance calls, it still is not as good as being local. However, I also know some that have worked for a while, provided there was a timetable that one person or the other would move to the same area and be face to face. I am willing to relocate, kids and all, if it's the right person. I am just disappointed that the women I am most interested in have, as of late, not even been willing to give it a try.
The thing that makes me the angriest is I feel that several women i have been very interested in have dismissed me out of hand without giving me a fair chance. I consider this to be a form of injustice, especially given these are women with whom I've had good conversation and things have progressed in a seemingly normal fashion with them, more or less. This kind of crap really makes me mad because the mating game does not usually have women have to express interest in a man and ask him out. Despite all the talk of women's lib--and make no mistake, men and women are equal under the law, both equally capable of great things and equally capable of horrible things and grand stupidity--I have very rarely seen a woman ever ask any man out. Men are forced to risk rejection and women just get to pick and choose, which to me is the ultimate unfairness in our relationship between the genders. I think this is part of the reason why many men just hook up when they can and don't give as much as they used to in relationships as they did before--it's their way of payback for how women take such things for granted (i.e. they want all the benefits of a committed relationship but don't want to pay any of the costs). I know this is not all women, but it seems that way as of late.
Managing Disappointment
I got word on Tuesday that I was not selected for the FT position at the Eagle College Central. I can only guess that I was equal to the other finalist but he or she either had a PhD or was the one they were going to hire anyway and I was just passed through to make sure that all qualified applicants were considered and interviewed. My boss at the Eagle Collge SW told me that one of the FT faculty may retire in Jan due to health issues, so that might mean I'll get hired on FT month to month and he'd let me know ASAP. If I were to get into that position month to month, it'd be a much stronger case for the department to award it to me full time and make me the inside favourite rather than the outsider. Meh! I've got 5 classes between 3 schools for the Spring semester so I will just be grateful for that in the meantime.
Managing Disappointment 2
One of the women I was talking too online did not reply to my last Email, so I am presuming that she's backing off due to not wanting to lead me on, though I made it clear I was happy with friendship and didn't want to date her. Another woman I'd met (the one at the gym) has said she wants to be friends due to going through an ugly divorce and an ugly post divorce dating relationship, so she's skittish on that. However, she also mentioned she had several single/divorced friends I might like and wants to arrange a meet up with a couple of them. We'll see... I really like the woman from the gym though... And another woman I found both infuriating, attractive and exciting turned out to be a Lesbian. UGH!!! That's three strikeouts in a row. WTF?!?!?!?
[Note: I'm removing the rant as that was written when I was really angry about stuff that happened this past week beyond the issues with those women. While I realize that I flirt and lay it on a bit thick via Twitter, in real life I'm not as agressive. I show interest, but I don't lay it on too thick face to face. I guess my online personality is more bold and agressive.]
To my Tweeps, I am sorry that I was so rude in the last paragraph but I feel like the Female of the Species is taking a dump on me as of late and I'm really angry at the world over that, not getting the full time job that I know I deserved and am dealing with the usual seasonal sadness that hits a lot of us in Wintertime. I am not mad at those women that are in relationships who rejected me for that reason--I wish you all well and most of you are in great relationships with great men. I don't try to steal another man's girlfriend or wife and I don't try to date women in committed relationships.
For those women that are Lesbians, there is no hate here for your sexual orientation that is wired inside of you and just take it as a compliment that I found you attractive.
For those that don't want a Long-Distance Relationship, I can certainly understand WHY it's less than appealing--travel costs, not being able to go to eachothers' place and spend the night, not being able to go to dinner every week, et. al. And although cheap long distance phone calls and free internet video chat have made maintaining this A LOT easier than it was before when we just had snail mail and expensive long distance calls, it still is not as good as being local. However, I also know some that have worked for a while, provided there was a timetable that one person or the other would move to the same area and be face to face. I am willing to relocate, kids and all, if it's the right person. I am just disappointed that the women I am most interested in have, as of late, not even been willing to give it a try.
The thing that makes me the angriest is I feel that several women i have been very interested in have dismissed me out of hand without giving me a fair chance. I consider this to be a form of injustice, especially given these are women with whom I've had good conversation and things have progressed in a seemingly normal fashion with them, more or less. This kind of crap really makes me mad because the mating game does not usually have women have to express interest in a man and ask him out. Despite all the talk of women's lib--and make no mistake, men and women are equal under the law, both equally capable of great things and equally capable of horrible things and grand stupidity--I have very rarely seen a woman ever ask any man out. Men are forced to risk rejection and women just get to pick and choose, which to me is the ultimate unfairness in our relationship between the genders. I think this is part of the reason why many men just hook up when they can and don't give as much as they used to in relationships as they did before--it's their way of payback for how women take such things for granted (i.e. they want all the benefits of a committed relationship but don't want to pay any of the costs). I know this is not all women, but it seems that way as of late.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Another week down...
Well this has been a busy week for the Professor here. I had two tutoring labs to teach at Firebird U that were swamped--10 students 1 day, 6 the other. No complaints for the most part--double time for 10 student day and time and a hlf for 6 student day. Need the moolah, for sure!
Had a concern with one student that showed up at both labs!
A young woman came in wearing low rise jeans and a tank top on a freezing night. Her bum and her boobs were nearly hanging out of them and I was averting my eyes. As bad as that was, the worse thing was she was Tweaking. She was shaking, her eyes were twitching and she had trouble focusing. It was like she was on crack or something. On the first night I saw no evidence of it, but on the 2nd night I saw a can of Red Bull sitting next to her gear in the lab. At one point I said to her "You're acting like you drank too much coffee or Red Bull or something." and she said "I don't drink Red Bull" with the can right in front of her. I saw two other students present look at eachother with a "What the F**K?!?!?!" look. After she left, the students present informed me she's been in that condition at every math lab or class she's attended--shaking so bad she makes the table shake, etc. I contacted student services to report her out of concern for her--I wonder if she's got some other issues beyond it, but regardless she needs help.
Weighty Matters
My weight creeped up 4 lbs from 198 to 202 during US Thanksgiving. This week I hit the gym HARD--4 days in a row, burned over 700 Calories each cardio session, plus weights, got my weight back down to 200. I am now back to pushing to get my weight dropping (heading in the right direction). The goal is 180 lbs by January 19th. I don't think I'm going to make it, but if I can hit 190 by that date, it'll be a 40 lb loss for the year.
My ultimate goal is 180 lbs. And when I get it, I will adjust my workout towards maintaining it. I have no illusions about ripped abs. I ripped an ab and had hernia surgery earlier this year and don't want to go through THAT again. However, I do know that I can get my belly down to a reasonable level and get my muscles well toned so my clothes fit well and I look good enough to feel happy with myself and so that most women think I'm in good enough shape for my height/frame.
Social Matters
I've chatted up a new woman at the gym recently, who's a little older, but very nice. Just friends only though. I got her phone number and we're going to have coffee sometime in the next few weeks. I see her every Tuesday and Thursday at the gym location I go on those days. She's a nice lady, an aesthetician (does skin/facial treatments) and has two kids that are college age (She married young).
I've also chatted up a very nice lady on Twitter and we've swapped some Emails. She's LD though and doesn't want an LD relationship, which is understandable. I like her though--she's beautiful, has an interesting career and is intelligent. She is someone that I would date, or want a relationship with IF she were interested in me that way.
In either case, I figure just be friends, maybe it leads to something, maybe it doesn't. Maybe they have some attractive friends that are looking for someone to date and they can give me a good recommendation. Or maybe after they are my friend for a while, they decide they're interested and want to date me. I would date either of these women if they were interested, but if they're not liking me that way but want to be friends, I'm okay with that too. No unreasonable expectations of them though. No expectations = no disappointments.
Holidays Coming Up--Had to Help my older Sister with an Issue
I really wish that some of my fellow Christians had a better education in our faith. I don't doubt their sincerity or their love of God, or their love of Jesus. However, due to the fact that some of my fellow Christians feel that Christmas is being pushed out of the public conscience by overzelous Secularists or those of other faiths, they are a bit resentful and over sensitive to things that they really shouldn't be upset about.
Example: Happy Hollidays/Seasons Greetings.
When I was growing up, this a perfectly acceptible saying in Christendom to those whose faith is not known. You wouldn't say "Merry Christmas" to someone whom you know is a Jew or a Muslim, as they don't celebrate the Holiday. Though most non-Christians would understand you mean a blessing and not an insult, they would accept it without being upset. However, some would feel an affront and so those were considered safe, universal greetings in the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s.
Fast forward to late 21st Century, some Christians have taken this as an affront to their faith, much like the PC nuts took the phrase "a chink in his armor" to be a slur against Asians when in fact that term is of Germanic origin and means a DENT. As a result, a bunch of them have been jumping on any retailer that has its employees use those phrases in lieu of Merry Christmas. My response to them is GET A GRIP! Those that say that expression are NOT INSULTING OUR FAITH!!! They are trying to use a universal greeting of blessing that would apply to anyone and they DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOUR FAITH IS!!! No insult is implied or intended, so there is no reason to get so upset.
The issue that my sister ran into was the use of the shorthand phrase "XMas" for "Christmas" on decorations she made for her cubicle at work. My sister spent a lot of time cutting out green, red and white construction paper and making a lovely poster that featured the Jolly Green Giant, Sprout, The Incrdible Hulk and the Grinch, all wearing red and white Santa Claus hats. She did not have enough room up top to put the full phrase and so she put "Merry XMas" instead. Two older coworkers who are very zealous in their faith, but also very ignorant of things like the Greek used to write the word "Christ" (Χριστ). The "X" at the beginning is the FIRST GREEK LETTER (Chi) in the word "Christ" which is itself a GREEK WORD. Xmas uses a Greek abbreviation for Christ rather than a C or K in Latin letters.
However, these older coworkers were ignorant of this (clearly they weren't raised Episcopal, Anglican, Methodist, Lutheran or United Church of Canada) and they were hassling her about "X-ing out Christ" and "not loving Jesus." This really cheesed off my sister as she definitely loves God, loves Jesus and is a Christian, but she's not self-righteous, not a zealot and like me has a "live and let live" attitude about others' beliefs or lack thereof. My sister did not know about the "X" being a "Chi" and was just fuming at what those coworkers said, especially given how much time and trouble she put into making this display.
She mentioned it to me in the phone call and I explained what it meant. I also had to explain to her the reason why some people react that way to the a Latin "X" as opposed to a Greek "Chi". There are some rituations where pieces of paper are put in a bucket. All are blank except one with an "X" on it. The one who draws the "X" is killed, kicked out of a club, has to so something humiliating, etc. Sometimes people "X" out someone's name on a roster as showing they're not present, or kicked out of something. It's a way of negating someone. It's also used in grading papers to mark something wrong. Due to this CULTURAL perception of the Latin "X" in a negative sense and due to the fact that many Christians that DO NOT KNOW about the Greek word (Χριστ), this is WHY some Christians find "Xmas" offensive. However, once a Christian learns about this, it's a different story.
She was contemplating filing a complaint with Human Resources, but she also realized if she did, then NOBODY would be allowed to do ANY Holiday decorating of their cubicles at all in order to avoid anyone being offended. She told another coworker who looked it up on the internet and talked with her pastor and confirmed it. That coworker got documentation of this and they went to the women who hasseled them and showed them the proof. The hasseling stopped after that.
Upcoming Weeks
The next couple of weeks I'll be busy grading papers and winding up the courses. Christmas is coming up and my kids have made out their wish lists. We're keeping it simple--one gift from each parent for each kid. We're putting together some money and buying needs and gifts for a family on our Church's Giving Tree. We're not rich, but we're doing okay, my kids have plenty of toys and clothes and games, and they don't really want for anything. I want to use this as a way to teach them charity and to help them appreciate what we have.
As my Great Aunt Julia once said "Those who are not grateful for what they have, shall not get any more." True words to live by, in my opinion!
Had a concern with one student that showed up at both labs!
A young woman came in wearing low rise jeans and a tank top on a freezing night. Her bum and her boobs were nearly hanging out of them and I was averting my eyes. As bad as that was, the worse thing was she was Tweaking. She was shaking, her eyes were twitching and she had trouble focusing. It was like she was on crack or something. On the first night I saw no evidence of it, but on the 2nd night I saw a can of Red Bull sitting next to her gear in the lab. At one point I said to her "You're acting like you drank too much coffee or Red Bull or something." and she said "I don't drink Red Bull" with the can right in front of her. I saw two other students present look at eachother with a "What the F**K?!?!?!" look. After she left, the students present informed me she's been in that condition at every math lab or class she's attended--shaking so bad she makes the table shake, etc. I contacted student services to report her out of concern for her--I wonder if she's got some other issues beyond it, but regardless she needs help.
Weighty Matters
My weight creeped up 4 lbs from 198 to 202 during US Thanksgiving. This week I hit the gym HARD--4 days in a row, burned over 700 Calories each cardio session, plus weights, got my weight back down to 200. I am now back to pushing to get my weight dropping (heading in the right direction). The goal is 180 lbs by January 19th. I don't think I'm going to make it, but if I can hit 190 by that date, it'll be a 40 lb loss for the year.
My ultimate goal is 180 lbs. And when I get it, I will adjust my workout towards maintaining it. I have no illusions about ripped abs. I ripped an ab and had hernia surgery earlier this year and don't want to go through THAT again. However, I do know that I can get my belly down to a reasonable level and get my muscles well toned so my clothes fit well and I look good enough to feel happy with myself and so that most women think I'm in good enough shape for my height/frame.
Social Matters
I've chatted up a new woman at the gym recently, who's a little older, but very nice. Just friends only though. I got her phone number and we're going to have coffee sometime in the next few weeks. I see her every Tuesday and Thursday at the gym location I go on those days. She's a nice lady, an aesthetician (does skin/facial treatments) and has two kids that are college age (She married young).
I've also chatted up a very nice lady on Twitter and we've swapped some Emails. She's LD though and doesn't want an LD relationship, which is understandable. I like her though--she's beautiful, has an interesting career and is intelligent. She is someone that I would date, or want a relationship with IF she were interested in me that way.
In either case, I figure just be friends, maybe it leads to something, maybe it doesn't. Maybe they have some attractive friends that are looking for someone to date and they can give me a good recommendation. Or maybe after they are my friend for a while, they decide they're interested and want to date me. I would date either of these women if they were interested, but if they're not liking me that way but want to be friends, I'm okay with that too. No unreasonable expectations of them though. No expectations = no disappointments.
Holidays Coming Up--Had to Help my older Sister with an Issue
I really wish that some of my fellow Christians had a better education in our faith. I don't doubt their sincerity or their love of God, or their love of Jesus. However, due to the fact that some of my fellow Christians feel that Christmas is being pushed out of the public conscience by overzelous Secularists or those of other faiths, they are a bit resentful and over sensitive to things that they really shouldn't be upset about.
Example: Happy Hollidays/Seasons Greetings.
When I was growing up, this a perfectly acceptible saying in Christendom to those whose faith is not known. You wouldn't say "Merry Christmas" to someone whom you know is a Jew or a Muslim, as they don't celebrate the Holiday. Though most non-Christians would understand you mean a blessing and not an insult, they would accept it without being upset. However, some would feel an affront and so those were considered safe, universal greetings in the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s.
Fast forward to late 21st Century, some Christians have taken this as an affront to their faith, much like the PC nuts took the phrase "a chink in his armor" to be a slur against Asians when in fact that term is of Germanic origin and means a DENT. As a result, a bunch of them have been jumping on any retailer that has its employees use those phrases in lieu of Merry Christmas. My response to them is GET A GRIP! Those that say that expression are NOT INSULTING OUR FAITH!!! They are trying to use a universal greeting of blessing that would apply to anyone and they DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOUR FAITH IS!!! No insult is implied or intended, so there is no reason to get so upset.
The issue that my sister ran into was the use of the shorthand phrase "XMas" for "Christmas" on decorations she made for her cubicle at work. My sister spent a lot of time cutting out green, red and white construction paper and making a lovely poster that featured the Jolly Green Giant, Sprout, The Incrdible Hulk and the Grinch, all wearing red and white Santa Claus hats. She did not have enough room up top to put the full phrase and so she put "Merry XMas" instead. Two older coworkers who are very zealous in their faith, but also very ignorant of things like the Greek used to write the word "Christ" (Χριστ). The "X" at the beginning is the FIRST GREEK LETTER (Chi) in the word "Christ" which is itself a GREEK WORD. Xmas uses a Greek abbreviation for Christ rather than a C or K in Latin letters.
However, these older coworkers were ignorant of this (clearly they weren't raised Episcopal, Anglican, Methodist, Lutheran or United Church of Canada) and they were hassling her about "X-ing out Christ" and "not loving Jesus." This really cheesed off my sister as she definitely loves God, loves Jesus and is a Christian, but she's not self-righteous, not a zealot and like me has a "live and let live" attitude about others' beliefs or lack thereof. My sister did not know about the "X" being a "Chi" and was just fuming at what those coworkers said, especially given how much time and trouble she put into making this display.
She mentioned it to me in the phone call and I explained what it meant. I also had to explain to her the reason why some people react that way to the a Latin "X" as opposed to a Greek "Chi". There are some rituations where pieces of paper are put in a bucket. All are blank except one with an "X" on it. The one who draws the "X" is killed, kicked out of a club, has to so something humiliating, etc. Sometimes people "X" out someone's name on a roster as showing they're not present, or kicked out of something. It's a way of negating someone. It's also used in grading papers to mark something wrong. Due to this CULTURAL perception of the Latin "X" in a negative sense and due to the fact that many Christians that DO NOT KNOW about the Greek word (Χριστ), this is WHY some Christians find "Xmas" offensive. However, once a Christian learns about this, it's a different story.
She was contemplating filing a complaint with Human Resources, but she also realized if she did, then NOBODY would be allowed to do ANY Holiday decorating of their cubicles at all in order to avoid anyone being offended. She told another coworker who looked it up on the internet and talked with her pastor and confirmed it. That coworker got documentation of this and they went to the women who hasseled them and showed them the proof. The hasseling stopped after that.
Upcoming Weeks
The next couple of weeks I'll be busy grading papers and winding up the courses. Christmas is coming up and my kids have made out their wish lists. We're keeping it simple--one gift from each parent for each kid. We're putting together some money and buying needs and gifts for a family on our Church's Giving Tree. We're not rich, but we're doing okay, my kids have plenty of toys and clothes and games, and they don't really want for anything. I want to use this as a way to teach them charity and to help them appreciate what we have.
As my Great Aunt Julia once said "Those who are not grateful for what they have, shall not get any more." True words to live by, in my opinion!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Updated Profile to Make it More Honest
Due to appearing sketchy to someone I met on Twitter, I realized that certain phrases I used on this blog made me apper bad and I did not like that. As a result I am explaining some of what's going on. I want to blog and social network, but I don't want privacy violations. I suffered from that before and as a result I was burnedin order to prevent this I use the alias and the vague terms to avoid being trackable by those who'd want to do me harm. Call it like the Witness Protection Program.
Anyone that gets to know me and I feel I can trust gets the real details but not in a public forum. I hope that clears things up.
This post is 100% True. Period.
Anyone that gets to know me and I feel I can trust gets the real details but not in a public forum. I hope that clears things up.
This post is 100% True. Period.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
The Last Two Weeks That Were
Hello Aliens!
In all seriousness, the last couple of weeks have been a little stressful, but they've had some good points as well. I wrapped up another class at the Firebird University, interviewed for a FT position at the Eagle College and have progressed as planned in the couse I've got there and at the Shooting Star College. I bought a Kinect for my xBox360 along with Dance Central (going to play it tonight before the Canucks hockey game), and otherwise chugged along smoothly.
The Interview
I had two friendly faces on the hiring committee--people I've worked with for years at the Eagle College. Plus the Econ guy at the Central Locale and the two Psych profs were nice to me. Everyone liked my presentation (Macro and Micro Economic Analyses of the Healthcare Industry) and they liked it well enough to kick me up to the next stage: interview with the college president. I think there is one other candidate for the position, so it's a 50/50 crapshot. Based upon the hints my supervisor at SW gave me (he is also on the hiring committee) I was the highest recommended candidate. Dec 1st is D-Day. I need to bring my A-game and do my best again. Say a prayer, think positively and don't foul up between now and then!
Kinect and xBox360
Is it just me, or when that Kinect moves to scan the room doesn't it remind you of Wall-E? I brooke down and bought a unit last Sunday. My son and I wereplaying Rallyball for a while and having a blast. I broke a sweat doing it! And the best part is no risk of throwing a controller at the TV like with a Wii or Sony PS3!!! My Tweep, @xboxbride (a/k/a Christine Chen) LOVES Dance Central. I've done DDR on my old original XBox--my biggest complaint is the mat kept on sliding, but this uses NO MAT!!! YES!!! Finally no hazards of falling down or missing a step due to a sliding mat!!! Kudos to Microsoft on THAT SCORE!!!
Dating News
Not much to speak of. Started talking with another lady at the Gym casually. Going to ask her to coffee this week or next week and see if it goes anywhere. Also chatting up a lady in Vancouver as a friend and asked a friend in Toronto if she knew a woman who'd like to get to know a guy online/long distance initially. Don't want to try too hard, but need to not give up either. Just not going to actively pursue anyone hot or heavy for a while--just see if I can get something going in the right direction in the meantime. There are a couple of ladies whom I really like on Twitter and if anything were to start with them, I'd really want to go there. But, given my lack of luck there I think I won't try to use Twitter to make any dates anytime soon.
Due to the privacy crap that AssBrochure... ERRRR.... FACEBOOK.... put me through, I can't go back there to try to work something up either. I may put an ad on Craiglist again, but my past experience (see previous post) has me doubtful if it's going to lead to much of anything.
Kids
My son's doing well in school--had a great report card. His behaviour was much improved this week after losing his Wii priviledges last weekend due to too many behaviour marks. He's really charmed his teacher who is somewhat strict but likes him anyway. He just needs to learn to shut his yap when other kids are asked questions rather than losing his patience and blurting out the answer.
My daughter is passing most of her classes, but the issues with her working memory and her preferring to play or watch TV than do schoolwork, and stubbornness prevent from excelling right now. She is doing A LOT better than last year. 1 year in language therapy has made a huge difference, but her working memory is only marginally improved.
They're both off this week for US Thanksgiving break and we'll be visiting family along with doing some fun stuff. I also need to clean out my home office and get ready for the semester to wind down. All my grading is caught up but there'll be more to do starting 1st week of December. I also intend to do my video review of The Burger Palace this week.
Well that's it for now. And unlike my profile, all of this is true!
In all seriousness, the last couple of weeks have been a little stressful, but they've had some good points as well. I wrapped up another class at the Firebird University, interviewed for a FT position at the Eagle College and have progressed as planned in the couse I've got there and at the Shooting Star College. I bought a Kinect for my xBox360 along with Dance Central (going to play it tonight before the Canucks hockey game), and otherwise chugged along smoothly.
The Interview
I had two friendly faces on the hiring committee--people I've worked with for years at the Eagle College. Plus the Econ guy at the Central Locale and the two Psych profs were nice to me. Everyone liked my presentation (Macro and Micro Economic Analyses of the Healthcare Industry) and they liked it well enough to kick me up to the next stage: interview with the college president. I think there is one other candidate for the position, so it's a 50/50 crapshot. Based upon the hints my supervisor at SW gave me (he is also on the hiring committee) I was the highest recommended candidate. Dec 1st is D-Day. I need to bring my A-game and do my best again. Say a prayer, think positively and don't foul up between now and then!
Kinect and xBox360
Is it just me, or when that Kinect moves to scan the room doesn't it remind you of Wall-E? I brooke down and bought a unit last Sunday. My son and I wereplaying Rallyball for a while and having a blast. I broke a sweat doing it! And the best part is no risk of throwing a controller at the TV like with a Wii or Sony PS3!!! My Tweep, @xboxbride (a/k/a Christine Chen) LOVES Dance Central. I've done DDR on my old original XBox--my biggest complaint is the mat kept on sliding, but this uses NO MAT!!! YES!!! Finally no hazards of falling down or missing a step due to a sliding mat!!! Kudos to Microsoft on THAT SCORE!!!
Dating News
Not much to speak of. Started talking with another lady at the Gym casually. Going to ask her to coffee this week or next week and see if it goes anywhere. Also chatting up a lady in Vancouver as a friend and asked a friend in Toronto if she knew a woman who'd like to get to know a guy online/long distance initially. Don't want to try too hard, but need to not give up either. Just not going to actively pursue anyone hot or heavy for a while--just see if I can get something going in the right direction in the meantime. There are a couple of ladies whom I really like on Twitter and if anything were to start with them, I'd really want to go there. But, given my lack of luck there I think I won't try to use Twitter to make any dates anytime soon.
Due to the privacy crap that AssBrochure... ERRRR.... FACEBOOK.... put me through, I can't go back there to try to work something up either. I may put an ad on Craiglist again, but my past experience (see previous post) has me doubtful if it's going to lead to much of anything.
Kids
My son's doing well in school--had a great report card. His behaviour was much improved this week after losing his Wii priviledges last weekend due to too many behaviour marks. He's really charmed his teacher who is somewhat strict but likes him anyway. He just needs to learn to shut his yap when other kids are asked questions rather than losing his patience and blurting out the answer.
My daughter is passing most of her classes, but the issues with her working memory and her preferring to play or watch TV than do schoolwork, and stubbornness prevent from excelling right now. She is doing A LOT better than last year. 1 year in language therapy has made a huge difference, but her working memory is only marginally improved.
They're both off this week for US Thanksgiving break and we'll be visiting family along with doing some fun stuff. I also need to clean out my home office and get ready for the semester to wind down. All my grading is caught up but there'll be more to do starting 1st week of December. I also intend to do my video review of The Burger Palace this week.
Well that's it for now. And unlike my profile, all of this is true!
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Doing Better Than Last Week
Post Meltdown Calmitude
Okay everyone, after that melodramatic meltdown of Halloweekend, I'm calmer now and getting some perspective. A very kind lady said to me this week that I needed to get offline, out and meet some people in real life. I do appreciate what she's saying, but I think I need to clarify a few things for her and for some of y'all out there.
I am actually out in the world in real life a lot, but a lot of the time it's either work related (teaching classes, tutoring) or family related (taking care of my kids, taking them to activities, doing things with their Aunt/Uncle/Cousins/Classmates & Their Families). It's just not socializing much outside of work and family. I also work out 3 to 4 times a week at 24 Hour Fitness, I go to church with my kids most sundays for worship (won't say where due to privacy concerns) and there is a Starbucks I hang out at regularly and know some of the staff and the other regulars. I also am friends with the owners of a restaurant I eat at a couple of times a month and the owners of a local comic book store I where I'm a subscriber.
I'm not really into bars, but I love watching hockey. The sports bars in Houston do not show much hockey though and usually even when it's on, if too many other patrons want to watch college football, then I don't get to watch it in that setting. I usually watch it at home via my grey market Shaw Direct Dish.
However, I do agree I need more social opportunities with larger groups of people which leads to more potential dates.
Met Someone at the Gym, but Doesn't Work Out
Speaking of 24 hour Fitness, I have been chatting up a lady there for the past 4 weeks, but nothing has happened with that beyond a few texts, a few phone calls and quick chats after working out. I have asked her out to coffee or dinner a couple of times, but have been told she's busy (she's a hairstylist who works 5 days a week and is only off on Wednesdays & Sundays. She's also a single mom and has a 6 year old son). I've tried to find a time that fits both of our schedules, but she hasn't really done more than just say Hi, politely chat with me for a few minutes or reply to my texts. The bottom line is I've written it off because it is just too hard to just get a date for coffee with her, and if she were really interested in me she'd try to sort it out with me.
The issue at had isn't that I'm some schlub sitting at home with 4 computers and an XBox and have no human interaction. The issue at hand is more that my time to socialize with others doesn't match theirs between my kids and my jobs, and until that changes I just may not get anywhere relationship-wise. I've been trying to get something going online/long distance wise becaue the other venues I've been using have had some success, but nothing leading to a true long-term relationship like I want.
Dating Methods I have Tried Post Divorce
Match. com
Using this service has led to some medium-term committed relationships (6 months to 1 yr 3 months) and a lot of dates. While many elements of it have been good (many of the women have been attractive, educated and were semi-giving in sex), the problem has been that many of the women have been either personally selfish (i.e. wanting to date me but not wanting to deal with my kids, one even said if I wanted to keep dating her I'd have to send my kids to live with my ex-wife--she was dumped on the spot) or were pressuring me to get married way too quickly. I've been married and divorced once already. I need to date a woman and know her well for a few years before I remarry.
I have to have at least 1 year to see if we work together, and then another year to see if she and my kids work together. There are A LOT of women out there who will be sweet and nice if it's just you and her, or you, her and her kids by some other dude. However, when the guy has kids, she'll be the wicked girlfriend or stepmother, blame your kids when it's her selfishness, and do all kinds of things to make you not have your kids or have contact with them anymore. No way! I want at least a year or three so make sure she will be nice to my kids, will respect them, that my kids will respect her and that we can form a cohesive family unit. FYI, I expect my kids to respect my girlfriend, to obey her and to treat her with the same respect and courtesy like they would a teacher or one of their aunts.
Craigslist
Met three women, had a bunch of dates, was intimate with one of the women, most were just looking for fun or a sugar daddy, no serious relationship. Got tired of it real quick.
Plenty of Fish
Most of the Fish on there were Carp!
Speed Dating
This was fun, but none of the women I checked that I wanted to go out with checked me, and several women I did not check and had no attraction or interest in did check me. Was discouraged and pissed at the money they charged on it (over $100.00 for an arranged meetup for that evening! WTF?!?!?) and so won't try it again for a while. May reconsider it later--i.e. do it in Vancouver or Toronto rather than Houston.
Hazard of Dating Post Divorce with Kids
Only two of my girlfriends post-divorce have met my kids. One of them I introduced way too soon. She verbally abused my daughter in front of me in a restaurant in their first meeting over something very minor that a 6.5 year old would do (be a little whiney). She was dumped on the spot.
The other was the one I dated for 1 year, 3 months. She met my son first and they got along very well. We did some activities together before she met my daughter. My daughter was cooler to her due to the previous experience, but she was respectful. My daughter has trouble adapting to changes and is slow to warm up to new adults. That woman was in a bit too much of a hurry to get married and got frustrated with my daughter. Before we could work through those things, my ex-wife caused a big dramatic piece of trouble and the relationship ended.
What I am looking for in a Woman
I realize none of us can order a date/partner out of a catalog. At the same time, there are some areas where we are flexible and some where we are not flexible. These are the attributes I'm looking for, for what it is worth:
Ideally she would be of East Asian Ancestry, preferably Chinese or Vietnamese, though I am open to dating Korean, Filipino, Japanese, Malaysian or Indonesian. I'd also be open to dating a Caucasian or Latin woman with dark hair, dark eyes and olive or fair complexion.
Age range is 28 to 50. This sounds broad, but there are some great women in their late 20s that are very mature and wouldn't mind dating a man who's a little bit older. Similarly there are some beautiful women in their mid to late 40s who are a lot of fun to be with and I don't want to count them out either. Ideally, she'd be between 37 and 47 (plus or minus 5 years of my real age) as we'd have more common experiences in that range without either of us being too old or young for eachother.
I'd like her to be educated--at least some college, and be intellectually strong as well as have a lot of common sense. I am not looking for someone to mother me, nor am I looking for someone for whom I have be a daddy. I also do not have patience for adults who act like kids--irresponsible, always looking for someone else to rescue them and clean up their messes. It's one thing to have fun like a kid--I love doing that. But Kids in Adults bodies is not fun at all--especially for those who love them. I do not want go there.
I'm looking for someone who is employed and is hopefully working in a field they enjoy on some professional level. I am employed and earn income. I'm not looking to sponge off of someone nor do I want someone sponging off of me. I believe that a man should invite and pay for the first few dates, but it is nice if a woman offers to help pay for it or if there's some sharing (i.e. I pay for dinner, she pays for coffee/dessert elsewhere later on). I'm not looking for a sugar mama and I am nobody's sugar daddy.
I am looking for a woman with a good sense of humour--who loves to laugh and have fun, but can also be serious and thinks deeply about things--life, love, the world we live in. I am also looking for someone who is healthy and takes care of herself. I DO NOT EXPECT PERFECTION. I am in the process of losing weight, and have lost 33 lbs this year. A few extra pounds is okay with me. But I'm not built like Chris Farley and I do not want to date a woman who's built like Roseanne in the early years or like Molly on Mike and Molly either.
I don't mind someone who socially drinks as I do the same, but no alcoholics, please! I also am not 420 friendly in dating either. I don't smoke pot or do illegal drugs, or abuse prescription or over the counter drugs and I don't want to date someone that does either. Again, I do not judge pot smokers, but I personally do not partake of it and don't want to have that complication in my dating relationships or have it around my kids. I also do not smoke--smoking tobacco killed my grandparents and though the product is legal, my family history has affected how I view it. I do not hate smokers, but I do not want to date one either.
I don't care of a woman is religious or not, but I just ask that she not judge my faith either. I am a Cafeteria Protestant Christian who believes in God and is very spiritual, but does not follow all the tenets of the faith to the letter either. I have dated women who were Agnostics, Taoist, Buddhists, Pagans, etc. as well as Christians. We would have lively discussions on faith and spirituality but we never tried to convert eachother and that's the way I like it.
I also do not care what a woman's political stripe is either. I am a Fiscal Conservative (favour small government to big, favour personal responsibility over social safety net) but a Social Progressive (it is all our job to take care of the environment and recycle, I favour public health programs that are properly managed, I think people's sexual preferences are their own business and not the government's). I never vote a straight ticket. I voted for many Republicans in the recent election, but voted for a Democrat for Governor and for a few Democrats for Judges because they were the better choice, bar none. I have dated women that were very right wing as well as those that were extremely liberal. We agreed to disagree and respected eachother, but had some lively discussions where we both were able to understand our individual stances on the issue better. What I cannot tolerate are self-righteous liberals or conservatives that subscribe to the belief that they are right and that anyone who disagrees with them is wrong. I've met a few of those and that doesn't work for me.
I am an omnivore. I love meat, starch, vegetables and fruit and dairy products. However a fully organic, free-range diet is not affordable to me and I make no apologies for it. I don't care if a woman is mainly a carnivore, an omnivore, a vegetarian or a vegan, just as long as she doesn't try to force her personal dietary choices on me, then we will get along just fine. I will always respect and make reasonable accomodations for those who have dietary choices or restrictions, but I won't bend over backwards or change my personal choices if they don't line up with yours.
I do not care if she's never been married or is divorced, but I will not date a married woman and I won't date a woman who's divorce is not final. I also don't date women with boyfriends or who are attached. No sharing in that regard. I don't care if she has kids or not, but no more than 2 kids of hers as I have 2 kids and 4 kids with 2 adults in the same house is all I could handle.
As far as temperment, I'd prefer someone who is kindhearted and is a flexible giver. A bit of attitude and occasional anger is normal; feisty is a lot of fun as well. What I do not want is a hotheaded woman who is perpetually angry over trivial things. Men that are like that are just as bad as women like that. I also prefer a woman who is somewhat empathetic and can deal with a man who likes to talk and is emotional (not hot tempered, but expresses his emotions and does cry in appropriate circumstances).
Other physical attributes I like: Long black hair (shoulder length is good too), dark eyes, slim to medium build, curvy body, medium to full lips, wears some makeup but doesn't go overboard, wears some perfume but doesn't go overboard, is well maintained, but not perfect. Has some breasts, but isn't flat chested like a teenage boy or ridiculously endowed like a porn star.
In those items up there, I've tried to show preferences and flexibility. My true ideal is below:
Asian woman, 37 to 47, Single or Divorced, medium build with shoulder length or longer dark hair, Educated, Professionally employed, hardworking, dedicated, spiritual but not religious, healthy, nonsmoking, social-drinking, moderately tempered, empathetic who's a good conversationalist and a good sense of humour;
There should be a few women in Houston, Vancouver or Toronto like that who might like me, I would hope.
Long Term Career and Location Plans
I am working on a long-term plan to move to Vancouver, BC or Toronto, ON, but that's going to be in 5 to 10 years. My short term plan is to get a Full Time Instructor position at one of the Colleges I'm teaching at here in Texas and build on my experience Most colleges count adjunct experience as 1/2 of full time experience, so my 18 years at One College equals 9 years FT experience, my 4 years at another = 2 years, and my 2 years at a 3rd equals 1 year, meaning I have 12 years equivalent to Full Time college teaching experience. However, FT college instructors also have to sometimes sit on committees and sponsor student organizations. I figure if I get a couple of years FT experience with these items, it would make it easier to get hired as an Econ instructor at a College in Vancouver or Toronto and make the move.
Thankfully, I have an interview for a FT position at one of the colleges where I teach on Friday Nov. 12th. Wish me success!!!
And unlike my profile, the content of this post is 100% real.
Okay everyone, after that melodramatic meltdown of Halloweekend, I'm calmer now and getting some perspective. A very kind lady said to me this week that I needed to get offline, out and meet some people in real life. I do appreciate what she's saying, but I think I need to clarify a few things for her and for some of y'all out there.
I am actually out in the world in real life a lot, but a lot of the time it's either work related (teaching classes, tutoring) or family related (taking care of my kids, taking them to activities, doing things with their Aunt/Uncle/Cousins/Classmates & Their Families). It's just not socializing much outside of work and family. I also work out 3 to 4 times a week at 24 Hour Fitness, I go to church with my kids most sundays for worship (won't say where due to privacy concerns) and there is a Starbucks I hang out at regularly and know some of the staff and the other regulars. I also am friends with the owners of a restaurant I eat at a couple of times a month and the owners of a local comic book store I where I'm a subscriber.
I'm not really into bars, but I love watching hockey. The sports bars in Houston do not show much hockey though and usually even when it's on, if too many other patrons want to watch college football, then I don't get to watch it in that setting. I usually watch it at home via my grey market Shaw Direct Dish.
However, I do agree I need more social opportunities with larger groups of people which leads to more potential dates.
Met Someone at the Gym, but Doesn't Work Out
Speaking of 24 hour Fitness, I have been chatting up a lady there for the past 4 weeks, but nothing has happened with that beyond a few texts, a few phone calls and quick chats after working out. I have asked her out to coffee or dinner a couple of times, but have been told she's busy (she's a hairstylist who works 5 days a week and is only off on Wednesdays & Sundays. She's also a single mom and has a 6 year old son). I've tried to find a time that fits both of our schedules, but she hasn't really done more than just say Hi, politely chat with me for a few minutes or reply to my texts. The bottom line is I've written it off because it is just too hard to just get a date for coffee with her, and if she were really interested in me she'd try to sort it out with me.
The issue at had isn't that I'm some schlub sitting at home with 4 computers and an XBox and have no human interaction. The issue at hand is more that my time to socialize with others doesn't match theirs between my kids and my jobs, and until that changes I just may not get anywhere relationship-wise. I've been trying to get something going online/long distance wise becaue the other venues I've been using have had some success, but nothing leading to a true long-term relationship like I want.
Dating Methods I have Tried Post Divorce
Match. com
Using this service has led to some medium-term committed relationships (6 months to 1 yr 3 months) and a lot of dates. While many elements of it have been good (many of the women have been attractive, educated and were semi-giving in sex), the problem has been that many of the women have been either personally selfish (i.e. wanting to date me but not wanting to deal with my kids, one even said if I wanted to keep dating her I'd have to send my kids to live with my ex-wife--she was dumped on the spot) or were pressuring me to get married way too quickly. I've been married and divorced once already. I need to date a woman and know her well for a few years before I remarry.
I have to have at least 1 year to see if we work together, and then another year to see if she and my kids work together. There are A LOT of women out there who will be sweet and nice if it's just you and her, or you, her and her kids by some other dude. However, when the guy has kids, she'll be the wicked girlfriend or stepmother, blame your kids when it's her selfishness, and do all kinds of things to make you not have your kids or have contact with them anymore. No way! I want at least a year or three so make sure she will be nice to my kids, will respect them, that my kids will respect her and that we can form a cohesive family unit. FYI, I expect my kids to respect my girlfriend, to obey her and to treat her with the same respect and courtesy like they would a teacher or one of their aunts.
Craigslist
Met three women, had a bunch of dates, was intimate with one of the women, most were just looking for fun or a sugar daddy, no serious relationship. Got tired of it real quick.
Plenty of Fish
Most of the Fish on there were Carp!
Speed Dating
This was fun, but none of the women I checked that I wanted to go out with checked me, and several women I did not check and had no attraction or interest in did check me. Was discouraged and pissed at the money they charged on it (over $100.00 for an arranged meetup for that evening! WTF?!?!?) and so won't try it again for a while. May reconsider it later--i.e. do it in Vancouver or Toronto rather than Houston.
Hazard of Dating Post Divorce with Kids
Only two of my girlfriends post-divorce have met my kids. One of them I introduced way too soon. She verbally abused my daughter in front of me in a restaurant in their first meeting over something very minor that a 6.5 year old would do (be a little whiney). She was dumped on the spot.
The other was the one I dated for 1 year, 3 months. She met my son first and they got along very well. We did some activities together before she met my daughter. My daughter was cooler to her due to the previous experience, but she was respectful. My daughter has trouble adapting to changes and is slow to warm up to new adults. That woman was in a bit too much of a hurry to get married and got frustrated with my daughter. Before we could work through those things, my ex-wife caused a big dramatic piece of trouble and the relationship ended.
What I am looking for in a Woman
I realize none of us can order a date/partner out of a catalog. At the same time, there are some areas where we are flexible and some where we are not flexible. These are the attributes I'm looking for, for what it is worth:
Ideally she would be of East Asian Ancestry, preferably Chinese or Vietnamese, though I am open to dating Korean, Filipino, Japanese, Malaysian or Indonesian. I'd also be open to dating a Caucasian or Latin woman with dark hair, dark eyes and olive or fair complexion.
Age range is 28 to 50. This sounds broad, but there are some great women in their late 20s that are very mature and wouldn't mind dating a man who's a little bit older. Similarly there are some beautiful women in their mid to late 40s who are a lot of fun to be with and I don't want to count them out either. Ideally, she'd be between 37 and 47 (plus or minus 5 years of my real age) as we'd have more common experiences in that range without either of us being too old or young for eachother.
I'd like her to be educated--at least some college, and be intellectually strong as well as have a lot of common sense. I am not looking for someone to mother me, nor am I looking for someone for whom I have be a daddy. I also do not have patience for adults who act like kids--irresponsible, always looking for someone else to rescue them and clean up their messes. It's one thing to have fun like a kid--I love doing that. But Kids in Adults bodies is not fun at all--especially for those who love them. I do not want go there.
I'm looking for someone who is employed and is hopefully working in a field they enjoy on some professional level. I am employed and earn income. I'm not looking to sponge off of someone nor do I want someone sponging off of me. I believe that a man should invite and pay for the first few dates, but it is nice if a woman offers to help pay for it or if there's some sharing (i.e. I pay for dinner, she pays for coffee/dessert elsewhere later on). I'm not looking for a sugar mama and I am nobody's sugar daddy.
I am looking for a woman with a good sense of humour--who loves to laugh and have fun, but can also be serious and thinks deeply about things--life, love, the world we live in. I am also looking for someone who is healthy and takes care of herself. I DO NOT EXPECT PERFECTION. I am in the process of losing weight, and have lost 33 lbs this year. A few extra pounds is okay with me. But I'm not built like Chris Farley and I do not want to date a woman who's built like Roseanne in the early years or like Molly on Mike and Molly either.
I don't mind someone who socially drinks as I do the same, but no alcoholics, please! I also am not 420 friendly in dating either. I don't smoke pot or do illegal drugs, or abuse prescription or over the counter drugs and I don't want to date someone that does either. Again, I do not judge pot smokers, but I personally do not partake of it and don't want to have that complication in my dating relationships or have it around my kids. I also do not smoke--smoking tobacco killed my grandparents and though the product is legal, my family history has affected how I view it. I do not hate smokers, but I do not want to date one either.
I don't care of a woman is religious or not, but I just ask that she not judge my faith either. I am a Cafeteria Protestant Christian who believes in God and is very spiritual, but does not follow all the tenets of the faith to the letter either. I have dated women who were Agnostics, Taoist, Buddhists, Pagans, etc. as well as Christians. We would have lively discussions on faith and spirituality but we never tried to convert eachother and that's the way I like it.
I also do not care what a woman's political stripe is either. I am a Fiscal Conservative (favour small government to big, favour personal responsibility over social safety net) but a Social Progressive (it is all our job to take care of the environment and recycle, I favour public health programs that are properly managed, I think people's sexual preferences are their own business and not the government's). I never vote a straight ticket. I voted for many Republicans in the recent election, but voted for a Democrat for Governor and for a few Democrats for Judges because they were the better choice, bar none. I have dated women that were very right wing as well as those that were extremely liberal. We agreed to disagree and respected eachother, but had some lively discussions where we both were able to understand our individual stances on the issue better. What I cannot tolerate are self-righteous liberals or conservatives that subscribe to the belief that they are right and that anyone who disagrees with them is wrong. I've met a few of those and that doesn't work for me.
I am an omnivore. I love meat, starch, vegetables and fruit and dairy products. However a fully organic, free-range diet is not affordable to me and I make no apologies for it. I don't care if a woman is mainly a carnivore, an omnivore, a vegetarian or a vegan, just as long as she doesn't try to force her personal dietary choices on me, then we will get along just fine. I will always respect and make reasonable accomodations for those who have dietary choices or restrictions, but I won't bend over backwards or change my personal choices if they don't line up with yours.
I do not care if she's never been married or is divorced, but I will not date a married woman and I won't date a woman who's divorce is not final. I also don't date women with boyfriends or who are attached. No sharing in that regard. I don't care if she has kids or not, but no more than 2 kids of hers as I have 2 kids and 4 kids with 2 adults in the same house is all I could handle.
As far as temperment, I'd prefer someone who is kindhearted and is a flexible giver. A bit of attitude and occasional anger is normal; feisty is a lot of fun as well. What I do not want is a hotheaded woman who is perpetually angry over trivial things. Men that are like that are just as bad as women like that. I also prefer a woman who is somewhat empathetic and can deal with a man who likes to talk and is emotional (not hot tempered, but expresses his emotions and does cry in appropriate circumstances).
Other physical attributes I like: Long black hair (shoulder length is good too), dark eyes, slim to medium build, curvy body, medium to full lips, wears some makeup but doesn't go overboard, wears some perfume but doesn't go overboard, is well maintained, but not perfect. Has some breasts, but isn't flat chested like a teenage boy or ridiculously endowed like a porn star.
In those items up there, I've tried to show preferences and flexibility. My true ideal is below:
Asian woman, 37 to 47, Single or Divorced, medium build with shoulder length or longer dark hair, Educated, Professionally employed, hardworking, dedicated, spiritual but not religious, healthy, nonsmoking, social-drinking, moderately tempered, empathetic who's a good conversationalist and a good sense of humour;
There should be a few women in Houston, Vancouver or Toronto like that who might like me, I would hope.
Long Term Career and Location Plans
I am working on a long-term plan to move to Vancouver, BC or Toronto, ON, but that's going to be in 5 to 10 years. My short term plan is to get a Full Time Instructor position at one of the Colleges I'm teaching at here in Texas and build on my experience Most colleges count adjunct experience as 1/2 of full time experience, so my 18 years at One College equals 9 years FT experience, my 4 years at another = 2 years, and my 2 years at a 3rd equals 1 year, meaning I have 12 years equivalent to Full Time college teaching experience. However, FT college instructors also have to sometimes sit on committees and sponsor student organizations. I figure if I get a couple of years FT experience with these items, it would make it easier to get hired as an Econ instructor at a College in Vancouver or Toronto and make the move.
Thankfully, I have an interview for a FT position at one of the colleges where I teach on Friday Nov. 12th. Wish me success!!!
And unlike my profile, the content of this post is 100% real.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
A Day in the LIfe
On this Long Weekend we get for Labour Day, the question that comes up is What To Do? Do the usual barbecue, watch sports and drink beer with friends and family? Make a trek out to Playland at the PNE or to Barton Springs Natural Area? Maybe sleep in and grab brunch with the kiddos and friends? Or a mixture of all of them. Meh, it all comes out in the wash as my Nana used to say...
Thus far I've had to handle some student EMails (ongoing of course), took the kids to a Local Rock-Climbing Gym, which they LOVED, and so did I (but it IS one of my hobbies, natch!) , took them to The Yardhouse for dinner at City Centre which they LOVED, let them play Wii a bunch and so forth.
Yesterday it was busy in the AM with my boy's swimming lessons while his sister was with their mom. In the early afternoon I watched Stargate Universe (SGU) episodes while I assembled some Halo Models from Mega Blocks with my boy. Then my kids' mom took them off to a kids' Yoga class with their cousins and friends, where they had a sleepover afterwards while I rested up and watched more of Season 1 of SGU (Thank YOU NetFlix!!!).
I've worked out Friday, Saturday and today in the early AM. Took the kids to church this AM too. They're playing Super Mario Bros Wii while I'm blogging and tweeting. My daughter has Sylvan in an hour while my Son and I go to Starbucks to play chess and hang out with some of my friends and their kids who do the same thing. The Starbucks we go to in NW Austin has a group that plays Chess in their every weekend. This one guy, Dimitri Sarcharov, was a Russian Master and is rated internationally. He's been helping me teach my son and he is VERY PATIENT.
I've also had to do laundries (BLECCCHHH, but must be done!) and wash dishes too. Still some work to do, even over the LOOOOONG Labour Day weekend.
Zao an, ya'll!!!
I've worked out Friday, Saturday and today in the early AM. Took the kids to church this AM too. They're playing Super Mario Bros Wii while I'm blogging and tweeting. My daughter has Sylvan in an hour while my Son and I go to Starbucks to play chess and hang out with some of my friends and their kids who do the same thing. The Starbucks we go to in NW Austin has a group that plays Chess in their every weekend. This one guy, Dimitri Sarcharov, was a Russian Master and is rated internationally. He's been helping me teach my son and he is VERY PATIENT.
I've also had to do laundries (BLECCCHHH, but must be done!) and wash dishes too. Still some work to do, even over the LOOOOONG Labour Day weekend.
Zao an, ya'll!!!
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